What are we really seeking
Few days back I watched the animated movie “Soul” which packs a powerful message about life and purpose. The story is about a middle school music teacher Joe Gardner whose dream and life’s purpose is to play at the best jazz club in town, an act that he’s convinced will change his life for the better. When he eventually lands the gig, he is not thrilled. He remarks, “Is that it, I thought I’d feel different”.
The following anecdote from the film captures this essence beautifully.
“A young fish swims up to an older fish and says: ‘I’m trying to find this thing they call the ocean.’ ‘The ocean?’ the older fish says, ‘that’s what you’re in right now.’ ‘This’, says the young fish, ‘this is water. What I want is the ocean!”
I was also reminded of the poem by 15th century saint and poet Kabir about a musk deer — “The musk is in the deer, but it seeks it not within itself: it wanders in quest of grass.”. The deer searches for the fragrance everywhere, not aware that it comes from nowhere but within itself.
And this made me think of two important questions — What is it that we are searching? and why do we never seem to get it?
Let’s take a moment and think about it. What is the driving force for us to accomplish things? If we ruminate over this we will realize, the driving force to accomplish things is that we want to be somebody in life. There is a sense of smallness or dissatisfaction with respect to our current state, and since we have a sense of smallness, through accomplishments, we are trying to be somebody. We are trying to be full and complete. Thus, fulfilment or pūrṇatvam is what all of us are searching. Somebody wants pūrṇatvam by becoming a CEO; another one wants through purchase of big houses, cars, or world travel; another one through becoming a renowned artist or musician and so on and so forth. So, the driving force is pūrṇatvam or completeness.
And why do we never seem to get it?
Because we are searching for it in the wrong places. Our accomplishments temporarily satiate our ego or ahaṃkāra, which is “finite” in nature. Whatever be my accomplishments, finite ahaṃkāra plus finite accomplishment, is equal to finite ahaṃkāra. Our whole life becomes a struggle of the finite ahaṃkāra trying to become infinite or pūrṇah and we never seem to get it. Life becomes a constant scout for something or the other. The restlessness never ends and for most of us life becomes a failure because our accomplishments are never enough. The thirst is never quenched.
So, where is the problem?
The problem is lack of knowledge. The knowledge of what is permanent and what is transient. We never question, how can finite become infinite.
What is this Knowledge?
It is the Knowledge about the Self.
In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna teaches Arjuna the essence of Upanishads when he talks about Ātma-anātma viveka, i.e. the difference between the higher-I in me (Ātma), and the lower-I in me (anātma or ahamkarah).
Every individual consists of two parts in his personality. One is the body-mind-complex part called anātma or ahamkara; and the second part is the consciousness principle called the Ātma, which pervades the body-mind-complex and because of which alone the body-mind-complex is sentient. Out of ignorance we think, we are the sentient body-mind complex (anātma).
E.g. Just as the bulb is not an individual entity, there is a bulb and filament; bulb may be compared to the gross body or the physical body and filament may be compared to the subtle body or the mind. One thinks that the bulb and filament together is giving light, but other than the bulb and the filament, there is another invisible principle because of which alone, bulb has become a source of light. This we know as the electricity principle.
Similarly, every individual has got a bulb and filament, the body-mind complex called anātma; and another invisible principle Ātma, like the electricity, which is inherently pervading this body-mind-complex, as even the electricity pervades the filament. Just like the electricity is an independent principle, which continues even when the bulb is broken or fused, the Ātma is the eternal, all pervading principle which is pūrṇah. It does not do any action and neither does it reap the benefits of the action.
This Ātma is of the nature of consciousness and is distinct from the body-mind complex. It is one and all pervading. This pūrṇah Ātma is one’s higher and true nature and so Krishna says, a wise person is that who knows the transient and insentient nature of the body-mind complex and hence is detached from it. He does not connect fulfilment with his pursuits. He does not see pūrṇatvam in the ahaṃkāra, because he knows that it is impossible. So, when the pūrṇatvam urge is to be fulfilled, he goes from the lower-I to the higher-I, because the higher-I is the source of fulfilment. Higher-I was pūrṇaḥ; is pūrṇaḥ and will ever be pūrṇaḥ.
Thus, a wise person is one who enjoys pūrṇatvam at the higher level; and enjoys activities at the ahaṃkāra level. He is free from desires that one depends on to fulfill oneself; he is free from all kinds of future projections and the resulting restlessness due to it. He is at home with himself as he is, and therefore at home with the world as it is. Resting in the bliss of his higher Self (Sat-Chit-Ananda), he lives in the present moment and enjoys doing whatever he can do, and whatever he has to do without any mental feverishness. This, Krishna says is the state of the person who is lit by the knowledge of the Self.
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Om Purnamadah Purnamidam Purnat Purnamudachyate Purnasya Purnamadaya Purnameva Vashishyate
This verse from the Upanishads describe the infinite eternal nature of Parahbramha, the infinite and complete state of the universe.
Satchidananda Parabrahma is Purna (complete). This world is born out of the infinite Parabrahma; thus this world too is pūrṇaḥ (complete). Even if we remove everything from what is complete, it still remains as pūrṇaḥ (complete).
Originally published at https://matterandbeyond.substack.com.
